Hand Shake the Rake

Being a writer is a lot like being a drug dealer
except as a writer you need to sell your own language.

Where are the writers that will
buy words for a handshake?

I have yet to see poets
hustling corners,
flipping punctuation for syntax.

Who are you?
Why are you here?
Why don’t you wash your clothes?

Being a writer means that you have
fifty years ahead of you!

You have an inch,
you have an itch!

Being a writer is a walk in the park.

All you need to do is tell people that you are writer.

When they ask you what you write about
you just make something up.

You just spin a tale about your next novel;
talk about this great poem you just finished.

No one wants to read it;
no one is interested enough in writers.

So just wing it man.

Just make characters out of the strangers you meet.

Look at the people around you
and judge their lifestyle.

If you change their life in a way that makes yours better,
I’d say you are well on your way to becoming a writer.

Being a writer means that you don’t sleep regular hours.

If you bring me a writer that goes to bed at 9:00pm
and wakes up at 7:00am

I’d probably be looking at a novelist
or someone with a bad past,
someone middle aged,
most likely someone who already
killed their darlings.

Someone who feels comfortable,
someone who combs their glossy-matte pages
in search of new publishing trends.

You show me a writer who works ten hours at a factory,
sleeps from 6pm to 9pm, wakes up, drinks half a pot of coffee,
works till 4am. Wakes again at 7am finishes the rest
of the coffee and hits the factory again, then
I might be looking at someone who cares.

Being a writer means that you won’t finish
your best work without being on the ground floor
of whatever it is that you question.

Being a writer means that you can only ask questions.

Being a writer means you’re asking questions
about what you can’t talk about!

Being a writer means that you divert
attention away from the stasis of complacency.

Being a writer means that you are willing
to take your limbs from your core,
and put your heart into the characters of your mystery.

Create mysteries with your cold lunch,
with your dry sandwiches.

Being a writer means you don’t talk
without having something to say, ever.

A redirector is not a writer.

Make characters out of context;
make friends with people who are
older than you.

Learn from the sidewalk,
from the cold morning,
from the early early morning and the late,
late night.

Being a writer means you know falling asleep
and waking up are both paths into the unknown.

Being a writer, is a like being a comic.

Being a writer is like being a chef.

Being a writer is being confident in knowing
that someone else is going to do it better
and longer and with more support.

Writing is not a caste, or a castle.

Being a writer is a piece of cake, a spoon of beef and barley stew, a dark red wine.

Being a writer is part of the pie, a Miso soup, and deep piss stained bourbon.

Being a writer is cheese cake on the vine, leftover vegan chili, and crystal cold gin.

Being a writer is part of the ride.

Being a writer is a waste of time.

Being a writer is a non-profit tax exempt organization.

Being a writer is like looking in the mirror
and seeing the reflection of someone else.

Being a writer is not what I say it is
but what you want it to be.

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